The Parable of the Pencil

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone’s hand.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil.
Three: You will be able to correct mistakes you will make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.
And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.
The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.
Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.
Three: You will be able to correct mistakes you might make or grow through them.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.
And Five: On every surface you walk, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to serve God in everything.
By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a relationship with God daily.

Proposed Katiba Draft: Part I

I have had chats with various people both supporting and opposing the proposed draft. As a supporter of the proposed draft i find it in order to expose the inconsistencies in the NO camp.
The NO camp while making their interpretations are very thorough in explaining how the good things will work to the detriment of Kenya. They will take a clause arguing that every Kenyan is entitled to Health for example. They will go further to show how it can't be implemented successfully they will even argue whether Kenyans are entitled to health whereby hospitals have no drugs and such talk.
A key component of the discussions put forward by the NO camp is fear. there will be more taxes, it is not possible, and such features.
Their debates are punctuated by how the proposed draft will do nothing to change the lives of ordinary Kenyans. They argue that the proposed constitution is a devil they know which they are ready to trust....and are urging Kenyans no to embrace a angel they know not about.
But all these as it is said are kicks of a dying horse.

Positive Vibration Crusade?

They came in all colours and shapes. The beautiful, the handsome and the skrewfaces were three. The Red, Green and Gold punctuated the affair. The rich the poor, from the nearby ghettos to farover ghettos. All this was happening at the T.I Sawasawa Festival 2010 edition graced by the Don Carlos mwenyewe. The old man did his ting as the yutmen danced along….The curtain raisers were also awesome but as this is Kenya we have an attitude of contempt for what is Kenya. Bafu Chafu did a sterling performance.
The message was peace but not all were ready to get some more teachings. I always wonder why there is such a disconnect between the reggae show organizers and the situation on the ground. Reggae is a militant music, it is music for agitation…It is the music allowing the black people to let off steam….. where they can vent off their anger due to Babylon induced Sufferation… However the situation gets complex when the same Babylon is organizing the reggae shows…They expect reggae fans to ‘behave’ Babylon…..And that’s where they go wrong…reggae music is about the oppressed trying to be heard.. And to a small portion of yutmen there is no better way to b heard than to pickpocket, ngeta and such.. But that is just a small portion and as our media is soo hungry on the negative aspects of the society, usually this gets blown outta proportion. But wat do you expect outta Babylonian minds. They neva see anything good of the yutman. Dem vampires!
The message in the concert like it is in reggae music nowadays is peace..Nah fight yo brother. But like Peter Tosh said “there will be no justice till man gets equal rights and justice”. The music of today instead of telling us to fight for our rights it is telling us to embrace our brothers. If a brethren/sistren steals from u embrace him, if he apes ua dawta mbrace hiom. We gotta fight negative vibes within the society. Gash dem a light dem …
So the message of peace in reggae musik and reggae concert I find it obsolete and influenced by Babylon. We need reggae artists to compose songs telling us to stone politricksters who have stolen from the public instead of clapping for them. When that happens, that will be a positive vibrations concert.
Justice… Am out!

Things to do with super-fast internet

I have on a very few days encountered cybers with very high speeds in this Nairobi...Among them is Nakumatt Lifestyle, Another one at Lornrho Hse, Sometimnes the one at Campus Towers also hit mad speds of 500Kbps. That is my definition of super fast internet...Internet with speeds of 400Kbps..And not others which indicate 1Mps yet are doing their slow ass timing at 10Kps..Now when I have such mad speeds am usually at loss with what i can do with such speeds. But here is a few tings I do:
1. Pirating
this is also known in geeky terms as torrenting. When i have mad speeds i usually torrent dem ting i have been aspiring to have like the 'Wrestlemania 26'Damn the show was hot..I also torrent those latest movies hitting the big..though most latest are usually camera copies you will sometimes land on a HD sh@ once in a while..
2.Research
I can also down those stubborn jstor files...Aint those files damn stubborn...but not with super fast internet...With super fast internet i don't to keep clicking both literally and errr the other other one..
3. Youtube
With super fast internet you don't wanna miss some action at the you tube site...Watch some crazy videos and also download some latest music videos...be sure to post them on your profile on facebook to ensure that guys realize you have access to superfast internet..though i suspect most internet connection rarely load youtube videos...most damn shit u have to wait for hours as it buffers and maybe some idiot(with a Nigerian accent)pops up behind ua back to tell you..kindly cut that youtube sh@ out..WTH..But hii ni Kenya you think you got privacy..not at the cybers
I can also update my twitter account with such " Waoh having mad speeds here at 356Kps...." Most likely i will get responses like .. Are u still in Kenya?

The Land nunsense in Kenya

They were poor with land and they are poor without land~Rev. Timothy Njoya on plight of IDPs

As the debate rages on the draft constitution which i have not read. One of the most contentious issue has been quoted to be land. Land in Kenya is a hot issue ...why i can't understand.
Rift valley is the hotbed for all this nunsense. Bloody land wars have been fought here. Why land? The fighers claim some elements in the community went and bought their fathers some busaa and conned them out of their land so the need to give dem a beating. they even quote the Mau Mau spirit'we are fighting for our soil'. Those been chased away usually retort that they bought these large swathes of land while the lazy indigenous people were scratching their balls. Their claim to the land is so deep they are always ready to have their blood shed for the sake of peace.
The land issues do not end there: There is the parable of the Kenya Lands Alliance an association of whites who owns what was left of the White Highlands. This group has its roots to one Lord Delamere ...this bugger saw an empty space of 1 million acres and as the gods commanded him to make it his as no one had claim to it. Just asked for a loan from the Bank of England to buy the fence and fenced the shat....Imagine that..But relax. But before you relax remember that the grandson of Delamere takes the god's command seriously and that is why he does and will shoot trespassers to the damn fenced sh@.
Scenario B we have the likes of Kenyatta, Kibaki Moi et al., these buggers also saw empty land spaces and saw it soothing to the gods to fence it as their godfather Delamere has set precedence. The 'history books' show that these buggers had real money before it started circulating and that is why they were able to buy the large swathes of lands as my grandfather was scratching his balls and sharpening his spear to go to the forest...While my grandfather was busy killing the louse he had collected in his forestic endeavours in fighting for the soil, these buggers were busy 'buying' land..Imagine that ....Again! this group did not even need to fence 'their land' like Delamere. They had/have real African Homeguard balls such all that they needed was urinate around their land and it became untouchable. No 'squatter' would dare set foot on the land..

That brings us to the 'squatters' like my grandfather..where were they when those who had real African balls were buying and grabbing and urinating marking their territories......That's unfair question maybe.....
So here we are Delamere having 300,000 acres while most can't afford a 1/8 of an acre even in Kiandutu. Here we are Kikuyus have large swathe of land in Maasai land, in Kalenjin land...yes they have some bough some urinated over it..some well just pointed....
The question is who has the right to Kenyan land..It is aid most of us did not inhabit this place some 200 yrs ago ... Do we have the right to land?
That brings us to Scenario C : In Eastleigh ..people in their right and left minds have started arguing that the Somalis are taking over Nairobi...where have we been..While those Kenyan with are thinking of either drinking their hard earned wealth or stashing their cash in Swiss accounts the Somalis are busy transforming the Dingy state of Eastleigh into a commercial hub and we start complaining.. DO we own Nairobi ..who are we? Aint this a Maasai people place where their animals used to quench thirst ... And we claim the Somalis are taking our town...

So what can be done...Borrowing from Njoyas quote i feel that one will be poor with or without land.. I got many questions than answers ....
Questions first:
Why didn't the Kalenjins claim that Delamere, Moi, Kenyatta forced them out of their land yet the owns more land than all Kikuyus IDPs combined.
Can we get enough land for every one?
Can we succeed without land?
And this i have an answer to: Yes we can develop and succeed without land we need to start thinking of things such as the cyberspace, ideas, and not land. This is the key. The land has its wenyewe ..be it Indians and Somalis in Nairobi, the whites in the Highlands, the Kenyattas, Kibakis, Mois .....Hakuna kitu utado..
The land issue in the draft constitution is said to be hot coz there is the word minimum. Minimum what? 95% of Kenyans cannot afford a quarter acre in Nairobi!!


There will be no peace coz man will never get equal rights and justice

A Standing Kimathi

I have always wondered whether there was no photo of a standing kimathi must we saw our children a chained Kimathi . A Kimathi who had fallen in to the enemies hands..a subdued Kimathi..shit a Kimathi who was so helpless...i always wondered whether there was no artist who could piece up a photo of standing Kimathi..but then the whites were using and still are using the image for propaganda purposes..

weeh ati Kenyatta was a nationalist..yenyewe shit happens ......kinyatta is said to have chased away the whites with his flywhisk..hohohooo..wapi and many Kenyans and buggers all over the world especially rastamen buy this cheap propaganda(at least everybody can afford it)...I call it urban legend...who will dispel it am asure it aint History books or our leaders..though a undisclosed source tells me that one bold Gitobu Imanyara has said it aloud..Kenyatta was a wolf in the sheepskin ..a thief a murderer ..he killed and robbed those who fought for our freedom...may he burn in hell and may the generators at KICC fail so as to make his ass rot!@$&**()(U)(U/!

Ugali is Banned

(This one i wrote way back in January 27, 2009 at the height of Maize scandal )
Reports reaching Muchene FM indicate that the parliament has passed a bill banning ugali and associated paraphernalia. At the time of going to press the bill was to be signed by the President H.E,MBQ,Thug No. 1,HIV,PPT (and other funny abbreviations we at Mushene FM can't print coz we don't understand their meaning) UNHON.CIC Kaguaru this morning.

The debate was passed in a record time not even enough for ugali water to have boiled, by the full house which had 27 MPs at the time of vote taking by the not so philanthropic Speaker of the house Mr. Marenge. The house however deleted a clause banning 'maize' in the country to allow enterprising members of the hyena society to export the same to some unnamed country.

The MPs when banning Ugali cited various reasons including that the word Ugali has caused a high level of insecurity for them and their families. They cited the recent public meetings where some unpaid senior members of the the Coalition of Thugs were confronted by violent robbers armed with hungry faces and waving placards with dangerous messages like NO WE CANT.

In seconding a youthful member of the house Mkosa Adabu popularly known for a shouting disorder said that by banning ugali they were relieving their constituents off pressure of eating unhealthy food all through the year. He said the move would encourage the citizens to consume,me more healthy foods like ant, rats, cockroaches e.t.c which are in plentiful as the famine continues to bite.

By the time of going to press, we at Mushene FM had moved most of our broadcasting equipments to an undisclosed location as we were expecting the Left HO. Cattle Rustler No.2 (after the late Polisi Lotodo) Mr. Pogit to come confiscate the remaining equipments.

Enjoy your scarce bits of Ugali before the sick arm of the law catches up with you.