Fellow invites distinguished hyenas,
The year 2008 was an excellent year in hyena society. It started on a very high note..though we the hyenas are said not to be known to eat our own children we proved the humans wrong by the roasting of our own children in Naivasha and Eldoret. We were celebrating the stealing of some fucked up papers being stolen. The Hyena Rights activists who have throughout their careers are bent(whateva that means) to derail the development of the hyena society only for them to appear in such and similar awards. The year progressed very with the elite Hyenas forming a Hyenalistic Coalition to eat the product of the fire which was lit in December 2007.
I take this chance to apologize to you as the event had to be held promptly in this unnamed location to avoid the inconvenience of overenthusiastic hyenas who stole the Dais and some awards last year.
I must also thank the judges who after much bribing and enjoying various spoils which i hear include sexual favours from the female contenders and the wives of the contenders came up with this list of award winners.
With the usual hyenish greed i hereby present you the hyenas that showed exemplary service in the hyena society.
The Thief of the Year
The award attracted many contenders right from the beginning of the year.Notable among them are unnamed stockbrokers and Mugabe. But the award goes to other than the leader of the Hyena society, The Hyena of all Hyenas who due to his nocturnal tendencies couldn't make it to this daylight event. The 2009 thief of the year award has already generated enough heat to move the turbines of Sondu Miriu with wonder of wonders..Though hyenas are not known to consume inferior products like maize prominent hyenas are said to have stolen several million bags yet there are starving idiots who were hacking each other to death at the beginning of the year due to their full stomachs.
Rotten Apple of the Year
the award to the hyena Police Force. The runners up in this category were the Mungiki and the Makangas. The civil servants were also in serious contention of the award. Though hyenas are known to feast on rotten carcasses the winners in this category displayed vigor in their ability to turn everything into an edible carcass.
Prostitute of the Year
The award will not be awarded this year as the judges asked for more time to vet the contenders.
In the culture of impunity i declare that the other awards wont be given out. I with the other greedy hyenas in the facilitating capacity will share amongst ourselves.
I call upon you fellow to contribute towards the kitty upon which my salary will be drawn fron.
GTGIUGoVUFUH
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