Ugali is Banned

(This one i wrote way back in January 27, 2009 at the height of Maize scandal )
Reports reaching Muchene FM indicate that the parliament has passed a bill banning ugali and associated paraphernalia. At the time of going to press the bill was to be signed by the President H.E,MBQ,Thug No. 1,HIV,PPT (and other funny abbreviations we at Mushene FM can't print coz we don't understand their meaning) UNHON.CIC Kaguaru this morning.

The debate was passed in a record time not even enough for ugali water to have boiled, by the full house which had 27 MPs at the time of vote taking by the not so philanthropic Speaker of the house Mr. Marenge. The house however deleted a clause banning 'maize' in the country to allow enterprising members of the hyena society to export the same to some unnamed country.

The MPs when banning Ugali cited various reasons including that the word Ugali has caused a high level of insecurity for them and their families. They cited the recent public meetings where some unpaid senior members of the the Coalition of Thugs were confronted by violent robbers armed with hungry faces and waving placards with dangerous messages like NO WE CANT.

In seconding a youthful member of the house Mkosa Adabu popularly known for a shouting disorder said that by banning ugali they were relieving their constituents off pressure of eating unhealthy food all through the year. He said the move would encourage the citizens to consume,me more healthy foods like ant, rats, cockroaches e.t.c which are in plentiful as the famine continues to bite.

By the time of going to press, we at Mushene FM had moved most of our broadcasting equipments to an undisclosed location as we were expecting the Left HO. Cattle Rustler No.2 (after the late Polisi Lotodo) Mr. Pogit to come confiscate the remaining equipments.

Enjoy your scarce bits of Ugali before the sick arm of the law catches up with you.